Let’s face it guys. Fake cases on rapes and sexual assault have become an epidemic.
It is high time we came up with an ultimate guide on how to get away with sexual harassment.
Gone are the good old days when a man could simply pick up a woman and take control of his life. Now, any woman can destroy a man’s career and his life with one simple Facebook post. Easy peasy.
Men are the real victims here. For millennia, a man would carefully and legally assign a woman’s body to oneself to protect it from attracting other men. So much effort men took to keep women from unleashing their attraction onto vulnerable penises. Now, these women want body autonomy and all. Ugh.
People keep playing right into the victim card thrown by these women. Thankfully, our brothers and sisters (real women, not the fake feminazi types), have kept up the crusade by commenting ‘foul’, ‘fake case’, ‘false accusation’, and ‘feminism is cancer’ everywhere.
It is a dangerous world for men out there. Think about the future of your male child ya.
There is still some hope, though. We have curated this ultimate guide on how to get away with sexual harassment (and rape, of course). Happy to help.
The Ultimate Guide on How to Get Away With Sexual Harassment
Grab your pens, highlight and bookmark this.
There are three war-fronts where you need to attack from so that you win at getting away with sexual harassment.
Discredit the offensive woman in question.
Discredit the narrative of this woman in question.
Let’s start with the first;
Discredit the offensive woman in question
This one is not gonna be easy. Because the feminist brigade pop up everywhere and gang up against innocent men. They say stuff like women were historically treated as the property of men and honour of the family and they could never voice about harassment before for fear of being discarded away for loss of this honour.
They will say that women are finally breaking shackles of patriarchy and speaking up, so the very least you should do is listen to them. They will lure you into gender-neutral statements like – anyone alleging abuse should at the very least be heard. Beware of these spells.
There is a nuanced art and science behind discrediting a woman who is playing the victim card.
Attack her character
You must first attack her character. No self-respecting women will allow sexual harassment and rape to happen to her. Seriously.
There are many ways to attack her character. I’ll list some;
She wears what she wants. Doesn’t think of traditional rules laid down by men in honour of women they held sacred. If you leave a candy without the wrapper, obviously ants will attack her.
More often than not, women wear revealing clothes to attract the attention of males. Alpha males know how to spot such women and treat them exactly like the sluts they are. Make-up, high-heels, deep necks, zero sleeves – these are their ad campaign to get harassed.
So find a picture of her in a revealing dress from her Facebook or Instagram, and there you have the first proof that she wanted the alpha male to fall to the ad campaign. Someone will so, better it be you. People will get it bruh.
Does she smoke? Only loose women smoke. Remember that.
Smoking is injurious to a woman’s health. How will she bear a male child then? If she clearly doesn’t want sex for childbearing, she wants sex for fun. Therefore you gave her fun. People will agree that she was asking for the fun.
Does she drink? This is easy. If she’s at a bar, then she’s waiting for alpha males to make a move on her. If you found her drinking alone, it might be because another man must have decided to dodge the bullet and never bothered to show up. Then you are doing a favour by offering sex. She would say she just needs someone to talk, but you know how women talk na. The world also knows. Everyone knows that by ‘talking’, she meant sex only.
How does she look? On a scale of one to ten? Anything below five is ugly. Ugly women try harder to compensate for what they lack. Very easy to spot. Bollywood always shows beautiful women getting raped by ugly villains, so if you look decent (of course you do), you only have to state that she looks very ugly under all that make-up and people will find it hard to believe that you would harass her.
Bonus proof if literally any man dumped or rejected her in the past. She obviously wants it from you if she got rejected previously. Why else would she be drinking alone in the pub? To enjoy all by herself in the ambience? Oh, Puhlease.
It helps if every now and then, you keep calling the offending woman names like bitch, slut, whore, gold digger, cougar, honey trap predator, etc. Because all you are doing is stating the God-sent truth. And the truth hurts. She might delete her Metoo post because of too much ‘truth’ from everyone.
Attack her identity
After you attack her character, you must attack her background. This is very important. Look for personal information that will help you. If attacking her character was code of ‘what/how she is’, attacking her identity is code for ‘who she is.’
Is she single? If she doesn’t have any boyfriend or husband, then it can mean one of 2 things:
No man wants to be with her. This information is essential. If men have rejected her, then there is no substance to her claim that you have harassed her. Society will naturally assume that you, as a man, have standards. Capitalize that.
She serially dumps men so that she can be with more men. All the time. Ergo, she is always asking for it, even if she gets bored once in a while and says she doesn’t, she is still asking subconsciously. Society will never buy that a woman who wants sex for fun from different men will ever say NO. Your bros from past have ensured that a man’s consent is always presumed because which would man says no to sex, right? So when she behaves like men, her consent is a given.
Is she a divorcee? A man actually gave up free sex, household work, and care for his parents from her. So she must have been too dangerous for him to decide and let go of all those benefits. After a women is dumped by her husband, she goes on this revenge spree where she’s trying to honey trap any man that she can lay her hands on.
So insert this ace card of ‘divorcee’ in at least half your arguments. But also tell here and there that you are not judging her so that you look better than those village panchayat people.
How old is she? Older women, especially those in the 30s, are like our mothers. Both our culture and porn tell us this fact. Nobody harasses Indian mothers. Unless she is a western type mother. Then porn tells us she is always just asking sex from younger men.
Quote her age. It is only a two-digit number. Insert it into every other sentence you use to defend yourself.
Does she have a child? If yes, then how was she even found with another man? Is this what she wants her daughter to learn from? Use this fact, and you will get many raised eyebrows and sympathies for the child. Capitalize it to make it unbelievable that she got harassed after willingly allowing a man under the same roof as her child.
Be ready for feminists who will say that she is more than her identity as a mother and her children should think no less of her for being open about her sexuality. Just make everyone focus on her child, and her motherhood will fall in focus automatically.
Is she making herself available on dating apps such as Tinder? Honestly, I cannot stress this enough. When you use Tinder, it is not to meet honest and respectful women.
If she is on Tinder, then it means she’s already a slut. Just say tinder again and again.
Tell a stranger that she is on Tinder all the time and people will believe it. How can she be on Tinder all the time and then get sexually harassed?
Is she into casual relationships or one-night stands? This is the ultimate test. If she is, then there is no question about whether she was actually harassed or not. Have you ever heard of a man going to jail for raping a slut? Exactly!
Very important point – if the woman who is saying that you have sexually assaulted her, is your previous casual fling, then its a finishing move.
She. Liked. Your. Dick. Once.
Means she will have it forever.
Ergo, no harassment ever. It’s simple.
Bonus – A fail-proof tip – She is mentally unstable
You can never fail with this. Scientifically speaking, women’s minds are prone to constant spells of crying and overthinking.
Feminists will say that crying is okay, but real men know it is not. Did Kabir Singh cry his way to recovery? No na! When women do that after sexual harassment, it is called by a particularly sophisticated phrase – randi rona. Use this catchy phrase everywhere, especially when feminists appeal to your empathy. Bonus points if you can get this catchy phrase onto other women’s lips and predictive typing keyboard.
Women are always paranoid, especially after hours. They will say that it is because male predators make it unsafe for women at night. True, some Bollywood style perfect villains roam at night. But when a woman trusts a man, then he can’t be a rapist. Your profile pic shows you hiking. Villains don’t go to such places. Rest all is paranoia. People will buy into your argument. You must be nice or else why did she trust you. Do we let burglars and murderers into our house? Duh.
Everyone knows that women who have depression, anxiety, PTSD and bipolar are compulsive liars. Nobody is going to check a psychiatric textbook for verification — wink wink. Just keep mentioning her list of diagnoses. Add more if you like. The society is already scared of the mentally ill. Use that to your advantage.
Discredit the narrative of this offensive woman in question
This is the most important bit. Women these days write anything and sharing anything in the name of feminism.
You can discredit the narrative in 3 ways: where and how she put it, by cherry-picking the details that help, and by saying that there is no proof to back the story.
Discredit the method and platform where she put up her narrative
If her narrative is posted on a feminist page, obviously that is a conspiracy. These Facebook pages get millions of dollars for posting Metoo stories. So they will publish anything without scrutiny. Attack the authenticity of every page. Mansplain them feminism.
Let’s face it. If a woman has been genuinely harassed or raped, she is too distraught to write about it. Bollywood movies nai dekhi kya? She should be in a corner crying for days, staring at the ceiling, not eating food. That’s what real victims do.
If she can whine all over Facebook and Twitter, then she definitely can walk into a police station and file a complaint. Both take the same effort; it is known. These feminist pages are as eager to publish your Metoo as is a local police station eager to file an FIR. So if she is not doing this cakewalk to a police station, she is not genuine. Tell this to everyone.
Feminists will try to make you believe that the system is rigged, and not in favour of women. That they get slut-shamed and victim-blamed when they try to file a complaint. We know that’s not true. If her claim is authentic and genuine, then obviously the police will believe her. If they don’t, they must have seen other signs like western clothing, unkempt hair, no bindi, make-up etc.
If she is worried about her family and relatives knowing about it, then it means that she’s guilty already. If she has been genuinely assaulted, then her family will support her, no? Feminist say that relatives will blame the woman for losing the family honour by getting raped. Lol.
Just keep asking why her parents aren’t fighting this for her. Why strangers on Facebook support her when she has a family?
How to discredit the narrative itself:
See if she admits to being emotional and crying during the events: this is proof that she must have just typed out all accusations while being emotional. People don’t associate a crying face with coherence and factual correctness. Infuse this detail very subtly to the list of loopholes you point at.
See if she’s on her periods. This is your wild card. Women are 10 times more likely to give mixed signals when on periods. Also 7 times likely to play sexual assault victim card after they pick fights. Didn’t you get that whatsapp forward? Stay connected, stay informed.
See if she’s included details like ‘she kissed him initially’ and that ‘she invited him to her place’ and self-admissions of guilt. They think we are stupid enough to miss this! Don’t believe feminists that such self-admissions are bare honesty. Just drag everyone with you on these admissions till people forget the main topic of sexual assault that happened later.
If she has made a move initially, then how can she later decide that she didn’t want the next thing? If she didn’t want it, then why did she start it? It is a general rule that once anyone starts eating a biryani they like, they just keep eating na. There is no concept of not wanting to eat the biryani a while after having enjoyed it. When anyone takes a bite of a 23-course meal, they obviously always go through with all the courses. Doesn’t your grandma keep feeding you even after you are full? It is unsankari to reject more of it – both biryani and hanky panky.
Spread rumour that the narrative was changed to hide details that would expose her. Rumours always work, especially when there are so many Indians.
See if she let you inside her house knowing that you wanted to have sex. People know from Bollywood that when the heroine says NO, she is just shy or testing the hero, she will eventually say yes. So if she said no to hanky panky and invited you in, it means a yes, so you gotta try harder. Other people also saw those movies. So you win by pointing this out.
Use the hard truth. Mansplain women about erections. If you didn’t want to deal with the hulk, why unleash it? If you had a hard-on and she is playing hard to get on, then sexual harassment cannot happen.
She wanted to cuddle? If yes, then that’s your finishing move. Club this with erection. How can she be okay with cuddling when she didn’t want sex? Does anyone on earth just want to cuddle without having sex later? Tell that erection plus cuddling means co-erection. Blame her for erection. Then say erection is always followed by co-erection. Invent words. Improvise.
Is there anyone apart from ignorant feminists who don’t know that all men want one thing? Men want sex. That’s why men have dicks. Women say NO when they mean YES to sex. Men say YES when they mean NO to keeping it in their pants. Yin yan. It’s natural. Google it.
Now we come to the most important bit. Proof!
Women who claim harassment and file fake rape cases don’t have any proof. They know that. Do you know the definition of rape in India? If there is no DNA evidence, then that means crime didn’t happen. If there is no proof that she was sexually assaulted, that’s because it didn’t happen in the first place.
Pieces of evidence such as screenshots are not admissible in the court of law anyway. Plus if you have been careful enough to include all of the points mentioned earlier, no one will believe her anyway. Because only real and virtuous women can get sexually assaulted. Sluts don’t.
Remember, if there is no proof, then it didn’t happen. Feminists want you to believe that rape and sexual assault are often committed in private where circumstantial evidence is hard to get. Especially if its intimate partner abuse. Keep interrupting them in this discourse by mansplaining criminal law and due process
For example, rape evidence depends on DNA. If her sluthole doesn’t have any man’s DNA, then how is it rape? Signs of sexual activity is not rape. What if it’s her husband or boyfriend to whom her body belongs? Then how is it rape? Wait till they call it marital rape, slam the argument of the sanctity of marriage and society being threatened by such women.
Women these days claim that they agreed to have sex with men only because men promised that they would get married to them. As if! Any woman who is loose enough to indulge in pre-marital sex is not someone who you would want to bring home to your mother. Then, when you refuse to marry them, they file false rape charges. Something about consent being conditional on marriage and that going back on marriage promise means earlier consent is now invalid. That’s bullshit.
Remember to keep commenting, ‘fake case’ and ‘false allegations’. Try in caps key if needed.
Finally, you must connect her story to the larger narrative of how women file false cases all the time. Since feminism is so shady, there are many ways to attack feminism while not sounding sexist.
How you start is very important:
Start by saying “I am all for women empowerment but,…”. So people will know you are not one of those old school misogynists. Some women may mistake you for a critic of feminism but who is all for gender equality. They will usually say the same thing as you did, but they would start by saying “I am a feminist but….” You find friends in them.
Attack Metoo movement
Say those false accusations are not isolated cases. With Metoo movement, women just get bored and want all the judgmental comments and abuses from random people on social media (apart from the dick picks and hello dear messages, which are usually not enough). So they put Metoo posts because it is a fashion trend. Say that and people will believe because everyone knows that women just follow fashion trends.
Use the ignorance of feminists about biology: Tell them about testosterone, alpha males in animal kingdom and erections.
They need to be told this a lot. They will stop you midway by calling it mansplaining, but you know you have to because they don’t know about biology. Tell them men are more muscular and aggressive because they once hunted animals and so they should control women. Use the word ‘obvious’ and insult their intelligence at least once per comment.
Reverse the victim narrative: tell everyone that you are now scared of even complimenting a woman after being victimized like this.
Tell them that just because a man wanted some sex after a decade long, impressive career, it should not get destroyed. Many women will join you in sympathy. Women love a successful man, and successful men love women, we all know that.
Use history: Wait till one of the feminists tell you that this has always happened and then hit this ball for a sixer by saying: If it has been happening since that long, then why didn’t women speak up before?
Start your statements about rape with “studies have shown that” and then enter a high percentage of fake rape cases. It already makes you knowledgeable and leagues ahead of a patriarch sarpanch of a village. Don’t make it 100% though. Some women die of rape ya, come on. They must have been really raped then — Google for a study. Victims like you have had statistics degree so one of them must have had a study that says so.
Say feminism is cancer. Say feminism has gone too far. Say you are a feminist, but metoo is feminazi.
Say feminism is not about MeToo, mansplaining, manspreading and microaggressions. There are real issues out there. Have you seen the plight of women in middle eastern countries? Women abducted by ISIS?
With all that serious stuff out there, all these feminist care about is how their body is violated because men can’t take no for an answer.
So, there it is. Hopefully, this guide will help you stay safe and take control of your life. That you can feel confident enough to make moves on anyone and have all the sex you want without any risk of being trapped in randi rona later on.
If you have any suggestion about tips that we haven’t covered yet, share your valuable insights in the comments section!