Good Girls Drink Home Delivered Beer.

have shorts will smoke


The following was submitted by SMIW reader Prashastika to our campaign Have Shorts. Will Smoke.

It was 9.50 in the night. We were slightly tipsy (I had had about half a beer) and looking to get more drunk. It was an occasion that called for it – the submission of our term papers!

Thrilled by the moment, we took our scooter out – despite reluctance and warnings from other male friends, we jumped on it and drove off!* IT WAS LIBERATING!

We arrived by scooter at a theka in an uber posh neighborhood. But, by the way people were staring at us, we might as well have descended from the sky. I was to wait on the scooter while my girlfriend went to buy some more beer cans for the night and, as I parked, I was surrounded by men, more men and only men. They looked at us like we had just murdered someone – whose blood was still on our hands.

Then, as my friend returned with the booze, there approached a gentleman, utterly baffled by OUR AUDACITY TO OCCUPY AND CONSUME PUBLIC SPACES! Bracing myself for a lecture on sanskar, I was caught completely off-guard when he took the patronizing, protective and concerned route instead:

“Madam, yeh deliver bhi karte hain, aapko aane ki zaroorat nahi hai!” (Madam, they deliver too, there’s no need to come!)

It took only a moment for me to regain my battle-hardened demeanor though..

“Bhaisahab! Toh karwa kyun nahi lete deliever? Yun hi aane ki taqleef ki!” (Sir! Then why don’t you get them to deliver? You made all that effort to come here!)

Double fucking standards of men. Yes we smoke, we drink, we loiter and we can do it better than you.

*NOTE: This campaign or story does not promote or endorse driving after consumption of alcohol that are above legally and medically permissible levels. We had a detailed conversation with the author of the story; where we asked her various questions including the number of drinks she had had, the interval between those drinks and her body weight. We then used those answers to calculate the estimated BAC (Blood Alcohol Content) and found it to be within the permissible levels (0.03%) and, that the author did not, knowingly or unknowingly, break any laws. The Spoilt Modern Indian Woman does not condone breaking of laws.